If you have a bit of a sense of humor and like to wing it a bit, proceed and enjoy.
|This is me. I swear!|
Can you call that being a chef? Probably not! But I make a mess of Pinterest recipes, am allergic to everything, and usually am cooking with a heart rate in the 130-175 range while seated in my wheelchair. It's quite entertaining. So I started taking some pics and will be blogging about it.
For reference, here is what I am currently allergic to and causes mild-moderate anaphylaxis or extreme GI distress, so I change up recipes to avoid these things, sometimes with success:
- NO gluten products, oats, and grains in general, such as quinoa (and now brown rice is hurting me! Jerk!). I've been gluten free (GF) since 2004.
- Nuts. Most of them. To scared to try the rest again.
- Shrimp (even the smell now causes my face to swell up and droop, flush, and throat to itchy/swell - it's awesome! I look like Sloth from the Goonies)
- Lemons & Limes
Sloth love Chunk.
- Milk in liquid form, but I can eat the hell out of some cheese
- Sugar intolerant, triggers my POTS/Dysautonomia like a mofo
- Something in GF muffin mix, not sure what yet
- Pork (NO MORE BACON - AHHHHHHH!)
- Juicing - I have tried all kinds of juicing, and every time I break out in hives on top of the fun throat itching/swelling
- Fancy snob lettuce. Iceberg is ok. I think.
- Fake sugars, like aspartame - which is horrible anyways, so no big loss
- MSG, other preservatives, modified corn/food starches - all that crap makes my stomach feel like I am being stabbed and gutted like William Wallace at the end of Braveheart.
- Random stuff, as I'm suspected of having a Mast Cell issue, which release histamine at the wrong time and cause random Anaphylaxis - which is loads of fun!
If you have not done so, you can read about Dysautonomia here, and I also have a bunch of other chronic junk that comes with it.
I use a reclining wheelchair most of the time as a result, have a power (purple!) wheelchair on order, and my feet need to be up, or my heart rate skyrockets and I start to pass out. Or mumble incoherently due to no blood being in my brain. Using sharp objects like knives can be a bit tricky when you are shaking and greying out!
I have to do short bursts of activity and then recover - so cooking takes some interesting prep and accomodation to get around this, and some days (most days) I just can't do it. For this reason, I LOVE freezer bag crock pot recipes, easy quick stuff, and using my new electric chopper thingy that cuts down on, well, cutting.
|this is on my list to Santa!|
So in my recipe roundup's, you may find some foul language, you will not see a spotless kitchen in the background, and pretty pictures with perfectly plated food. You will see my modified recipes that I found online and attempted to make while trying not to die.
I hope you enjoy my gimpy cooking adventures!
(Enjoy one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies of all time involving a knife)