I had a sudden burst of unusual upright energy and thought I would try to make a snack. I have serious issues with finding snacks - I do better when eating "smaller meals through the day"....which is fancy health food guru code for SNACKS.
I am not allergic to bananas, thank you Dear Lord, and we had a new bunch, so I headed over to handy Pinterest to check out what was going on in the world of bananas.
BUT! After walking to the computer to check Pinterest, my burst of energy had ended and my heart rate was about 140, so I decided to lower my expectations from fancy modified banana bread, and go with "cook this crap as fast as I can and hope I stay conscious".
I found this lovely and easy looking recipe:
Sweet and Salty Banana Chips
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| Picture courtesy of A Beautiful Mess |
Doesn't that look good? And seem easy? How CAN ANYONE SCREW THIS UP?????
Wellllllp, here's how I screwed it up.The recipe calls for salt, pepper, and brown sugar. That's it! Easy! For anyone else.
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| EASY AS HELL |
My modified recipe/ingredients:
1. Use however many bananas I can cut FAST before losing a finger becomes a real danger. I ended up making it through 2. Placed on silpat on cooking sheet. I spread them around a little. Good enough.
2. Salt. Lots of un-iodized salt. Dysautonomia is one of the few conditions where salt is supposedly good for you, as it expands blood volume and helps retain fluids and increase blood pressure. Not good for everyone - but it helps me personally not have to pee every 20 minutes. Isn't it great to hear about peeing when reading a recipe? So I dumped a bunch of sea salt (fancy pants!) on them.
3. Brown Sugar. I just tossed it on there too. I literally scooped it out of the box with my hands (my hands were clean at least) standing at the counter while the world started spinning. FTW!
4. I decided to be fancy. I hate pepper. Don't know why, but I do. This recipe called for pepper, but no thank you. So I thought cinnamon would be good. And, oh look - there's the all spice! That goes well with cinnamon! My blood deprived brain was telling me these things and I listened. So I tossed some of that junk on there too. What the hell. At this point I was woozy and just wanted to grab, toss on, and sit down.
5. So I got in my wheelchair, rested for a minute, and took this lovely picture, because I knew already this wasn't going to be pretty, and may be funny. Oven at 400. Supposedly 15 min to finish.
6. I think I may have used too much everything. My hand scooping and dumping of ingredients technique is not the greatest. After 15 minutes, my bananas were mushy, and looked curled up and funky. So I left them in longer, thinking they may crisp up a bit and the magical food fairies would fly into my oven and fix them.
At this point I had to lower my leg thingies on my wheelchair and stick my face in the oven while trying not to fall in to stir the bananas. Stirring means shoving them around with a spatula, and didn't work to well. This made me laugh. And then I remembered to take my head out of the over - ooops! Finding me face down in a pile of mushy, overly brown-sugarafied bananas is not how I'd like to leave this world. So here is the result. After 30 minutes. And they were squishy, overly sugary, had a tangy all spice cinnamon-y thing going on, and were nasty. I even tried adding more salt, but nope! TOTAL FAIL.
Follow the lovely recipe from My Messy Life, because I really think they may be wonderful. That blog has amazing pictures and all kinds of fun stuff by the way.
Hope you enjoyed my adventure!
Happy Cooking. <3
Claire
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